Moats & Boats & Waterfalls
by kingsgates
Summary: Loki looks to the banks of the river on either side of him; he sees thick woods and large rocks. This area should all be farm land by now, leading into the dock of Ered Luin, the closest town to Arnlae. They've gone the wrong way. Pre-Thor
1. Chapter 1

**AN: **This is written for Mimbillia after her prompt of "Make them go on a journey. And something happens." well, here it is. This is set Pre-Thor. The title is from the Edward Sharpe & the Magnetic Zero's song _Home_. Also, I don't own any of these characters.

Arms weighed down with books, Loki makes his way over to his favourite corner of the palace library. In between the shelves, the keeper of the library had placed a large table in the alcove just for him. It didn't bother him, if the keeper wished to keep him out of sight that was fine, he'd rather read in solace.

Taking a seat he grabbed the closest book from his pile and opened the cover, smiling at the sound of the spine cracking. He closed his eyes and breathed in the scent of a barely read book. He had of course read this book before – stumbling across it by accident when looking for a spell to turn anything that Thor touched a particular shade of green. Oh it had been such a wonderful week before his mother had demanded that he rectify the palace.

Loki has learnt almost everything from the books in front of him, but he may have missed something. Today, he plans to carefully read each and every word, line by line so that he cannot miss a thing. There is always something new to learn.

After only an hour he hears the doors slam open and knows that there can only be one person who would dare to disturb the sanctity of the library.

"_LOKI!"_

He sighs. Thor will simply stand in the centre of the room until Loki appears, rather than actually go looking for him. Well, that can easily be changed.

With a smirk blooming across his face, Loki yells back, "Come and find me brother!" before abandoning his alcove to weave his way between the shelves, making just enough noise to encourage Thor to chase him.

He can practically _hear_ his brother roll his eyes before stomping around the library in search of him. Each time he gets close, Loki slips away - keeping Thor close, but at arm's length.

"Must everything be a game to you brother?" Thor huffs.

"Oh, but you are the Mighty Thor! Surely you can find one such as me."

"I could find you if you would only _stand still_."

Smirk still in place, Loki keeps the chase going for another five minutes before Thor gives up and is sitting in his alcove, chin resting in the palm of his hand. Disappointing. Loki would have expected Thor to at least _try_.

Stepping out from the shelves, Loki frowns. "You are no fun brother."

"And you spend far too much time locked away in this dusty library. The sun does not even light the halls! How can you read with so little light?"

Loki gives him a small smile. "There is light enough." Shooing Thor from his chair, Loki sits and begins running his fingers over the fading text. "Did you want something or did you barge in here for no reason other than to disturb me?"

Barking out a laugh, Thor reaches over and ruffles his hair, ignoring the glare Loki levels him with. "We are going on a mighty quest brother!"

"I doubt it." Loki muttered.

"What?"

"Nothing."

Thor charges on with details of his future quest (most of which entails the celebration _after_ said quest) but Loki simply tunes him out. If Thor wasn't going to listen to him or take his hints to leave, then Loki wasn't going to listen to him. He doesn't care to hear about how much ale Thor plans on drinking or which maidens will fawn all over him, he only cares that it will be him who has to drag Thor back to his chambers after becoming too drunk to even stand on his own.

Glancing up he realises that Thor has stopped speaking and is staring at him expectantly.

"Yes?"

"I said: we're leaving in an hour. Do you plan on packing from your seat?"

"_Packing?_"

"Yes," Thor huffs. "You were not listening were you? We will be gone for three days – the creature is rare and only appears once every hundred years!"

Fantastic. They were going hunting.

"No, thank you."

"But you must come with us!"

"No, I mustn't."

Thor sweeps his arms out and gestures at the room around them. "You cannot lock yourself in doors all day brother; it is not good for you! You should be out in the training yards with your friends, practicing with a sword to become a strong warrior!"

Loki slams his book shut. A strong warrior? _Strong?_ He is already strong – he has already surpassed the many tutors his father had assigned to teach him magic. But that is not good enough, not _manly_ enough. He breathes deeply through his nose and forces a smile to his face – it would not do well to cause a scene here. They already refused to let him take the books back to his chambers – rightfully fearing that he would never return them.

"I know how to fight Thor."

"Well yes, but with such small knives; a sword would be much more beneficial in a battle!"

There is no point in fighting him. Loki will simply be yelled at for 'causing a scene'. He taps his fingers against the desk as he feels a rage building in his chest, constricting his breathing and clouding his mind. He is sick of being looked down for his abilities, being constantly compared to Thor. What is so wonderful about his brother? All he does is fight and drink and make a fool of himself and yet they all trip over their own feet to get his attention.

Then again, one becomes blinded when gazing at the sun for too long.

Pushing away from the table, Loki makes to leave – to put as much distance between himself and his brother before his rage gets the better of him. His mother always says not to let his anger control his actions.

It isn't until he is safely behind his chamber doors that he realises he has left his books behind.

* * *

Thor doesn't come after him and Loki is left seething in his chambers for hours, throwing knives at his cupboard doors and imagining Thor's face.

Releasing his last knife, he flicked his fingers back towards himself and watched as they faded in a golden light before reappearing on the bed beside him. He lifts the first one and simply holds it, the light reflecting off the edge of the blade.

He's about to throw it once more when he hears a soft knocking on his door.

"Enter."

His mother glides into the room, casting a look at the now mutilated doors of his cupboard to the knife in his hand.

"Good afternoon Mother."

"Good afternoon my darling." She perches on the edge of his bed, turning her head to gaze into his eyes. He hates when she does this; it is as if she can see into his soul.

Smiling slightly he asks, "And what can I do for you Mother?"

"Well," she smooths out an invisible wrinkle from her many skirts. "You can start by telling me why your brother is stomping around the palace and challenging anyone who crosses his path?"

Loki snorts. "I'm sure it has something to do with his _warrior_ nature."

Frigga sighs and turns to sit next to Loki, her back against the headboard and rearranging her skirts so that he can see her glittering heels as she crosses her ankles on his covers. For all her grandeur, right now she looks more like a mother than a Queen as she relaxes. He has always loved these moments above all others. "Tell me what happened Loki."

He studies his nails and avoids that soul searching gaze. "What makes you think that anything has happened?"

"Because I know you."

"Why has Thor not left on his 'mighty quest' yet?" Loki had hoped that Thor would just leave and forget about him as usual.

"He wishes for you to go with him."

Loki snorts again. "No. He wishes for someone to belittle in front of his friends and then clean up whatever mess I am _sure_ he will make."

Frigga reaches out a hand to smooth down his hair as she did when he was young. "He loves you Loki. He _does_" she adds at Loki's disbelieving face. "Go with you brother. You never know, he may surprise you."

He's about to refuse but he can see the plea in her eyes and he folds. "Very well Mother. I will go with him. For you though, not for Thor."

She cradles his face and kisses his brow. "Thank you little one."

Loki blushes and pulls away. "I am not so little anymore."

Frigga laughs as she stands. "You will _always_ be my little one, no matter how tall you grow." She winks and sweeps out of his chambers, calling over her shoulder "I will inform your brother that you will meet him in the stables within the hour."

Loki would do as she had said. He had overreacted earlier, he knew that. Thor was only trying to include him and Loki could not fault him for going about it the wrong way. Thor would forgive him, they were brothers after all. They had been in worse fights over less.

He arrives at the stables exactly an hour later – a satchel packed and his best boots on. As he slips through the door, he hears the laughter of his brother and his friends as they gather around Fandral. It appears as if Loki has walked into one of Fandral's dirtier tales of how he wooed a maiden into his bed, if Sif's blush is anything to go by.

It is Volstagg who notices him first, feigning great surprise at his presence. "Well, look who finally decided to show up!"

Loki frowns. "My Mother informed Thor that I would be here within the hour. I am precisely on time."

Volstagg simply shrugs and urges Fandral to continue his tale.

"I don't think so my friend, the atmosphere has been ruined. Besides, such stories should not be told where they can be heard by our Prince's _precious_ ears."

They all laugh raucously and Thor playfully shoves Loki's shoulder as he passes on his way out. Their fight from earlier forgotten.

* * *

They had been riding for well over an hour and still no one would tell him where they were headed. Thor appeared to have a map and was gesturing widely at Fandral as they both rode ahead. Loki asked again where this amazing beast was, but the glare he received from Sif made him lower his eyes and keep silent. He was clearly not wanted on this journey by anyone other than Thor. Usually he was tolerated and was therefore shocked at Sif's boldness to give him such a look in Thor's presence. He was obviously too engrossed in his map to notice.

Loki had never seen him read so intently.

"Thor."

"Not now Loki."

"But -"

"Loki please!"

Thor hadn't even bothered to turn around. Perhaps they were lost?

They rode on in relative silence for another ten minutes. Just as Loki was beginning to wonder if he could actually hear running water or if his mind was just conjuring the sound to alleviate the boredom, Thor rounded a corner and cheered.

Not lost then.

And the sound from earlier had not been his mind at all. They came to a small dock nestled into the bank of a river with an even smaller boat attached to it.

"No."

Thor sighed loudly. "Yes, Loki."

"Not a chance."

"Get in the boat."

They stared each other down, a battle of wills taking place.

He was _not_ getting on that boat.

"Are you afraid of getting wet _Princess_?" Fandral laughed.

"Of course not! I simply do not wish to perish because this pathetic excuse for a vessel cannot hope to hold Volstagg's weight, let alone anyone else's."

Volstagg simply patted his stomach and smiled.

"Brother, the water will not bite you."

Loki turned and glared at Thor. "Of course it will not bite me. You drown in it you absolute fool, it doesn't have to bite you."

Thor clasped his hand on the side of Loki's neck. "Brother, this is not like when we were children. I will not let you fall in again."

"We are _not_ talking about that." Loki whispered.

"I know. But this is different. Please brother, it is the only way to reach Arnlae by nightfall. You know that."

"I can make my own way."

"The distance is too far, you would tire yourself out. Is it worth exhausting your magic simply to avoid a bit of water?"

It wasn't fair. Thor always managed to talk him into doing something he would rather not. Or at least get him to take the blame afterwards. Loki expected him to mention their mother – that was always the easiest way to get Loki to yield. Perhaps today would be different.

"Mother would be proud to hear of you facing your fears."

Loki closed his eyes. Damn Thor. Damn him and his pathetic death trap and _damn_ the river.

It was going to take four hours to reach Arnlae, a small town that ran along the edge of the river.

Four hours stuck on this _damn_ boat, pressed between Volstagg and Hogun while they worked the oars. His stomach roiled each time the vessel rocked, the choppy waves coming into view every now and then. Looking forward, he could see the expanse of the wide river ahead of them and if he closed his eyes he felt as if he would fall in.

He glanced up at the sun. They'd only been sailing for two hours. If he didn't get off this boat soon he was going to go mad. Or become reacquainted with his breakfast.

Loki placed a hand over his stomach and took a few deep breaths, trying to calm himself. He could teleport and change his shape without upsetting his stomach, but this was one thing he would likely never overcome. He was forever cursed with this terrible fear.

Rationally, he knew there was nothing to be afraid of. When he had been a child, he had been playing too close to the edge of a small lake and slipped on a rock. Loki had not been underwater for long and there had been no current. All he remembers is looking up and seeing the sun create strange patterns above him and the distorted view of his mother's face as she pulled him up.

Loki had not been injured nor swallowed any water, but a fear had stuck with him. One he kept buried deep within himself. A Prince of Asgard does not show weakness – even the second Prince.

A vicious lurch drags Loki from his thoughts – the river has become fast moving and the others struggle to keep the boat straight. Loki looks to the banks of the river on either side of him; he sees thick woods and large rocks. This area should all be farm land by now, leading into the dock of Ered Luin, the closest town to Arnlae.

They've gone the wrong way.

The boat begins to hit the rocks jutting out of the river, pitching them sideways. Loki grabs at someone's arm to steady himself and reaches out with his magic in an attempt to keep the vessel steady but the combination of his queasy stomach and the ache of fear in his throat melts away his spell far too soon.

Loki's breath is knocked out of him as the vessel flips and he is thrown headfirst into the now raging river. He is dragged along by the current and his chest burns with the need to breathe as he tries to pull himself to the surface. He kicks his legs out and his feet manage to hit more rocks, pushing him up until he breaks through and sucks in blessed air. He catches sight of Sif hauling herself onto the river bank before he is dragged back under.

This time, he misses the rocks and is thrown around by the current – panic beginning to truly set in.

Loki slams into a rock and pain flares up his spine. He gasps and water floods his mouth. He tries one last time to reach the surface but suddenly everything is falling away and his world is reduced to a deafening roar in his ears.

His last thought is to cast a shield around himself, hoping that it will at least break his fall.


	2. Chapter 2

_Sorry for the delay! I wanted to get a bit more written before I uploaded another chapter and then illness pushed it back a bit further. Enjoy! _

"LOKI!"

For a brief second, Thor was frozen and could not look away from the spot where his brother had been dragged over the edge of a waterfall.

He blinked and pulled himself onto the bank of the river, slipping in the wet sand as he took off running. He could hear his friends behind him, calling his name but he paid them no attention.

He had to get to the bottom of that waterfall.

There had to be a way.

Crashing through the woods, Thor prayed to whomever was listening that Loki was still alive. He had no idea how far his brother had fallen but he was going to find him. He had to.

The land began to slope downward and Thor ran closer to the sound of the waterfall.

"No…" he whispered before charging forward once more into the cold water, almost tripping twice before he reached the floating body of his younger brother.

Wrapping his arms around Loki, Thor lifted him and dragged him back to shore.

Once laid on the sand, Thor could see that something was awfully wrong. Loki was pale, paler than usual and he wasn't moving. He placed his hand on Loki's chest and waited.

It did not rise.

He began shaking his brother, believing it to be another trick of his. "Loki! Brother enough of this foolishness - get up!"

Sif and the Warriors Three appeared by his side, Sif with her hand covering her mouth and her eyes wide. "Is he dead?"

"No! Of course not!" Thor shook Loki once more and watched in horror as his lips began to turn blue. "Loki!"

"Move." Hogun pushes him out of the way and hovers above Loki. "When I say, press down on his chest with both hands and do not stop until I say."

Thor nods quickly and jumps as Hogun leans down and clamps his mouth over Loki's, breathing air into him. He breathes for Loki a few times before signalling to Thor.

Thor doesn't _dare_ use his full strength, terrified of crushing Loki. But even as he holds his strength in check, Thor feels his brother's ribs crack under his hands. He jumps back in horror, staring at his hands.

"You must keep going!" Hogun shouts.

"I cannot, I will _crush_ him! There must be another way."

"There is not. Keep. Pushing."

Hesitantly, Thor places his hands back on Loki's chest. "Forgive me brother."

He presses down once more and winces each time he feels a crack.

The air is tense for the next few minutes as Hogun and Thor continue working on Loki. And then, possibly the single greatest sound Thor will ever hear: his brother finally, _finally_ taking in a choked breath of his own before he began coughing.

Ignoring Volstagg's sigh of relief Thor quickly rolls Loki onto his side as he coughs up water. Thor rubs his back and with his free hand he pulls off his cloak to wrap around Loki's trembling body. Loki was breathing raggedly but at least it was unaided. Thor had wanted an adventure, a chance at a rare beast that would be the talk of all of Asgard – but not at the cost of his brother. As soon as Loki was well enough Thor would take him back home.

He'd never been to this part of Asgard, had not even realised that they had gone the wrong way until the waterfall. Loki was still shaking and the sun was beginning to set. They would have to find shelter and stay the night.

They needed a cave, somewhere out of the wind but Thor was reluctant to move Loki. He could be injured badly (besides his ribs) and Thor knew from his training to be extremely cautious. While there appeared to be no outward injuries from Loki's fall, anything could have happened.

"We must find shelter, a place to rest." Thro turned to his friends.

"I will go." Sif lifts her sword and gestures to Fandral to follow her. Thor nods and returns his attention to his brother. He ran a hand through Loki's wet hair, pushing it back from his face. Loki's eyes fluttered open briefly before sliding closed again.

"Why is he not waking?" Thor asked.

"He fell from a great height, perhaps he is worse off than we thought?" Volstagg lowered himself next to Thor, placing his own hand onto Loki's chest.

They sat in silence, waiting for Sif and Fandral to return, but soon the stillness unsettled Thor's mind.

"I should not have brought him along. He did not even want to come."

Volstagg snorted and pulled back his hand. "And what would he have done if you'd left him? He'd have locked himself in his chambers and drowned in a sea of books."

Well, yes.

"And that's not good for him." He added vehemently.

Thor gave his friend a weak smile. Out of all his companions, Volstagg was the one who showed the most concern over Loki's wellbeing. Perhaps it is because he is a father himself and cares for all of them. He could be seen sneaking Loki some of the more filling foods at feasts and would even correct his stance during training.

And he had recently taken to hiding Loki's books - which of course Loki in turn believed to have been done by Thor.

That was one shouting match the guards would not soon forget.

But perhaps Volstagg was wrong. Perhaps Loki would be better off if left to his parchment friends. He would definitely be safer.

The return of Sif and Fandral interrupts Thor's thoughts. There were no caves nearby, but they had found a small clearing further into the woods where the trees were thick and would provide adequate shelter, at least for the night.

Mindful of any hidden injuries, Thor carefully lifted Loki, making sure his head was supported as he trailed behind the Warriors Four.

* * *

Sif had been right; the trees were definitely thicker here. While a small fire was being lit, Thor placed his brother between the roots of the biggest three with his cloak as a blanket and the golden leaves as a bed. Loki let out a small whimper but did not wake.

It was worrisome. Loki was never this still. Yes, he slept until almost midday most of the time but in his waking hours he was constantly moving. He would be working a spell or taking notes or even simply walking with their mother around her many gardens. He fidgeted at the dinner tables, jumping from his seat as soon as his plate was cleared.

And yes, if he had a book in front of him it was not unheard of for Loki to be in the same spot for hours on end but still he moved- a tapping foot or wrapping a lock of hair around his finger.

Thor just wanted him to move. To do _something_.

As night fell, Thor's worry became almost overwhelming.

"Thor you must rest." Sif placed a hand on his shoulder. "I can watch over him."

"No, thank you Sif." Thor smiled. "I must stay with him."

"Has he _still_ not awoken?" Fandral called from across the fire.

"No, he hasn't."

"Perhaps he hit his head?"

"Did you check?" Hogun asked quietly.

Thor rose to his knees and bent over Loki's prone form, running his fingers through his brothers hair and down behind his head, following the curve of Loki's skull. Feeling a large lump, Thor pulled his hand back to see a small amount of blood on his fingers.

"Shouldn't we wake him up?" Fandral turns to the others. "Eir has always told us to never sleep with a head injury."

"Yes," Hogun nodded. "There is not much blood, he should be alright."

"Well, we won't know until he's up." Sif added, throwing a frustrated look at Loki.

Thor hesitated – waking Loki before he was good and ready was never a wise choice unless one wished to lose a hand or worse.

Sighing, he decided to risk it and gently shook his brother.

Nothing.

"Loki." He shook a bit harder but Loki simply mumbled unintelligibly and swatted at him. Thor smiled; at least he was beginning to behave like himself again. "Brother if you do not awaken I will drop your books in a pile of mud."

"No." Loki moaned.

"And jump on them."

"I will eviscerate you."

Thor grinned as Loki slowly opened his eyes. He placed his palm on Loki's neck. "Finally! How do you feel?"

"Don't touch my books."

Fandral let out a bark of laughter. "Well, I don't think there can be any doubt that Loki is back to normal!" he laughs heartily and relaxes back against a fallen log, kicking his feet out towards the fire.

Thor however, wasn't so sure. Loki was awake and talking (a little) but he still didn't look right. "Brother, the truth."

Loki sighs and leans into Thor's hand. "My head hurts and I think I may have broken a few ribs. But I'm fine, really."

"I will get you home Loki, Eir will fix you right up."

Loki smiles faintly. "You do not even know where home is."

Thor faltered slightly but refused to let Loki see. "Then I will figure it out! We cannot be so far off course that we have completely lost our way."

He lies down next to his little brother, wrapping an arm around his shoulders and lets Loki rest his head on his chest. "Try to sleep brother; I will wake you again in a few hours."


	3. Chapter 3

_Welcome back! Apologies again for the wait, I got hit with writers block and had to get through it before I could post. Once again, all my thanks goes to mimbillia who has to deal with flailing and being my sound board. Cheers bro! _

_Anyway, enjoy the next chapter. _

They take it in turns to keep watch and check on Loki at random intervals. He becomes more and more aware as the hours pass, but complains that the ache in his head has gotten worse. By morning he still struggles to keep his eyes open and will only eat a little, claiming his chest hurt too much.

Thor stays close to Loki, a constant worry lodged in his chest. He runs his fingers over the curve of Loki's skull, checking on the lump at the back to ensure that it has not increased in size.

"We will be home soon brother, Fandral and Hogun are scouting the woods now – they will find the right path."

Loki's only answer is a hitched breath as he tries to get more comfortable.

"I am sorry brother," Thor whispers. "I should not have brought you along."

Loki reaches over and pushes at Thor's chest. "Go away." He rasps.

Thor's heart sank. He should have known that Loki would be angry with him. He had only wished to include Loki and have some fun with him as they did when they were children. When had things changed so dramatically between them? He would likely never know.

He crossed to the other side of their small camp, giving Loki the space he needed and sighed as he dropped onto the ground next to Sif and watched as she sharpened her sword.

"If he's that angry with you, he's likely on his way back to normal." She smirked at him.

"I am not so sure any of us will be back to the way we once were."

"What do you mean?"

Thor rests his forearms on his knees. "If he were truly angry, he would be yelling and throwing one of his usual tantrums – locking himself away and refusing to speak with me."

"Well he's not speaking with you."

"No, this feels different. _He_ feels different."

"There's nothing to be done about it now. What's happened has happened and all we can do is move forward."

"But will he forgive me?" Thor ducks his head and looks at her sideways. Sif puts down her sword and turns to face him.

"Of course he will. He's Loki, your little brother. Does he not always forgive you?"

"Yes, he does."

"Then everything will be fine! You've nothing to worry about."

She picked up her sword once more and continued to sharpen it. They sat in silence and Thor kept watch over Loki until he realised –

"Oh, Mother is going to _kill_ me."

* * *

Fandral and Hogun return as the sun sets, looking disheartened as they announce that they are well and truly lost.

Sitting around the campfire after a small dinner, Thor wonders why his father has not sent out a search party for them – surely Heimdall would've seen that Loki has been injured and was in desperate need of a healer? Why were they left here to fend for themselves? Was this a test?

If it was a test then it was gravely unfair.

Loki had managed to eat a little but had drifted back to sleep – never moving from the spot Thor had laid him on the previous day. How could their father stand to see his youngest son so hurt and yet do nothing about it?

Thor once again took up his vigil by Loki's side and leaned back against the trunk of the tree, placing his hand lightly on Loki's chest and concentrating on the feel of his palm rising and falling roughly with each harsh breathe Loki released. He had seemed better this morning but had taken a turn for the worse. Thor was suddenly struck with a feeling of terror – something he had little experience with yet seemed to be overcome with on this trip. He could not lose Loki.

It is well into the night when he hears it – a strange noise, almost like an animal in pain. He checks to make sure it is not Loki and listens to the sounds of his friends; they are all sleeping soundly.

Reluctantly, he rises and quietly moves to the edge of their camp, attempting to see through the darkness. Deciding that Loki and the others would be alright for a moment he follows the sounds, ducking under branches and pushing aside vines and bushes. He nearly trips over a tree root when he sees a horse standing in another clearing tossing its head and pacing as if it is unsure which way to go. It is clearly in distress. The horse stops in the centre of the clearing and lets out a loud whinny, rearing back on its hind legs and that's when Thor sees it. Eight legs. Sleipnir.

Slowly, Thor makes his way into the clearing so that he doesn't spook his nephew. Sleipnir notices him and trots over, whinnying again and tossing his head. Thor strokes his neck and tries to calm him down.

"Come with me." He whispers.

He leads Sleipnir back to camp, his nephew following eagerly. They break through the trees and Sleipnir immediately trots over to Loki, snuffling at his face and nudging his cheek. Thor rushes over to pull him away and Sleipnir snorts at him in irritation before they both freeze as Loki whines and turns towards the noise in his sleep, releasing a hacking cough. Sleipnir tosses his head as Loki struggles to breath and Thor wakes his brother, pulling him until he is sitting upright. After a few tense moments Loki sucks in blessed air and relaxes back against Thor's chest. Sleipnir hesitantly steps closer and rubs his nose against Loki's cheek, receiving a small smile as Loki threads his fingers through Sleipnir's mane.

"Good boy." He whispers.

"Where did he come from?!" Fandral yells from across the camp. Loki's coughing must have woken them; Thor hadn't even noticed.

Thor smiles at his friends. "He came to find Loki. And to take us home."

* * *

Once there is enough light they carefully lift Loki onto Sleipnir's back, pack up their meagre camp and slowly follow Sleipnir home.

Thor walks next to his nephew, one hand braced on Loki's back in case he slips out of the saddle. His chest still rattles but he manages to sit upright on his own – an attempt to show strength.

Normally, the slow pace would make Thor edgy – he's always been a fast mover. Today however, he could not be gladder for the glacial pace. Should Loki fall Thor doubted he would be able to survive this time, his body too damaged that even a simple drop from the back of a horse could cause one of his ribs to pierce his heart. There would be no chance of helping him if that happened, no matter what magic could accomplish it could not overcome death.

After a few hours, Thor breathes a sigh of relief as he sees the spires of the palace rising in the distance. They pick up the pace, knowing they are so close to home.

As they enter the lower town the villagers clear a path, letting the small group pass unhindered. A guard spots them and after taking one look at Loki he takes off ahead of them to warn the Queen and the healing staff.

Thor helps Loki down off Sleipnir's back once they enter the large courtyard and wraps his brothers' arm over his shoulder, helping him towards the steps one it became clear that Loki would not allow himself to be carried. Thor hadn't the heart to tell him that he'd been carried a number of times whilst unconscious.

Frigga arrives at the top of the stairs, Eir close behind her with the guard from earlier and a few of her apprentices.

"Mama…" Loki whispers.

"Oh my darling boy, what has happened to you?" she turns her gaze from Loki to Thor as she hurries down the steps to meet them, skirts gathered in her hands.

"There was an accident on the river, he was thrown in and went over a waterfall. He used his magic but—" Thor let out in a rush, but was cut off as Loki slumped towards his mother, caught by her hands and still held up by Thor. His legs buckled as the apprentices raced forward, taking him from his family's arms.

Eir directed them back into the palace with instructions to get him ready for her. Hands on her hips she turned to Thor. "Quickly, what were his injuries?"

"He wasn't breathing, we got him back but there is a rattling sound when he breathes. He had hit his head but there wasn't too much blood and we kept him awake just as you have taught us."

She nods in acknowledgement. "Good, I am glad you remembered that. If there is nothing else…?"

Thor waved her towards the palace and gave his mother a weak smile as she followed Eir back inside and after her Loki.

Thor stays where he is, trying to keep his emotions in check and ignore the whispers of the crowd that had gathered around him. Sleipnir steps closer and nudges the back of his head – urging him towards the palace.

_Let me know what you think, I'd love to hear from you all. I hope to have the next chapter up in about a week. _


	4. Chapter 4

_Thank you to everyone who followed this story or left a review. You've no idea how wonderful it makes me feel to know that you are all enjoying it! _

_Yet again, thanks to Mimbillia - without whom this fic would not have even been written. _

_(Also if you haven't yet, go check out her stories Stone of Command & her new story Dreyri. They are seriously amazing and complete perfection) _

_Without further ado, I bring you chapter 4. _

After they heal his ribs, Loki sleeps for two days, Frigga refusing to leave his side.

When Thor had tried to visit, his mother had raged at him for almost an hour before sending him back to his chambers with orders not to come out until she wished to see him again. He had not been confined to his chambers since he was a rebellious youth.

He lies on his bed thinking he could use this time to sharpen his weapons but instead spends hours staring at the ceiling until Fandral sneaks the others into his chambers. They update him on Loki's condition and, sensing that their prince was in a foul mood, switch the conversation to the recent rumours surrounding Nana's new child.

Thor waits until the dead of night before he dares to sneak out of his rooms.

He quietly pushes open the door to the healings rooms, smiling at Eir as she simply points him to the back wall where curtains have been drawn around the last bed. Thor had expected Loki to have his own private room – they must have placed him on the bed in a hurry to get his breathing under control.

Peeking around the curtains, Thor sees his mother asleep with her head resting on her arms atop Loki's bed. Loki himself looks so very tiny, the moonlight coming from the window bathing him in an ethereal light. A shuffle from the side of the bed stops Thor from entering and he is shocked to see his father place a blanket over his mothers' shoulders and taking a seat next to her, running his fingers soothingly through Loki's hair when his brow creases in his sleep. The gesture settles him instantly and Thor decides to return to his own chambers – Loki is in good hands.

* * *

After a few days, Thor is allowed out of his chambers but still confined to the palace – much to his annoyance. He spends most of his time in the warriors retreat, relaxing in the large chairs and tossing bits of parchment into the fire, his friends by his side.

"I am simply stating, _dear Fandral_, that Nana's child is starting to look an awful lot like someone we know." Sif tosses a berry at Fandral's head whilst winking at Thor.

"What?!" Fandral sputters. "It's barely a week old; it bares resemblance to an underground mole more than anything!"

"It is a beautiful child and you should be grateful!" Volstagg states, barely intelligible around his mouthful of lamb.

They laugh together as Fandral begins his long and desperate list of whomever else may be responsible and Thor feels a weight lift off his chest. He had missed this easy camaraderie with his friends.

However; his peace could not last long.

They are still laughing at Fandral's ever increasing list when Thor looks up to see Loki slowly making his way over to them. Ignoring the constriction in his chest at the sight of Loki still looking quite ill, Thor smiles and waves him over, rising to meet him halfway.

He embraces his little strongly but Loki pushes him off.

"Thor! I just had my ribs mended, I do not need _another_ trip to the healers." However, a small smile crosses his face and Thor knows he is forgiven.

"Loki, please join us." Sif says kindly and points to the nearest chair. She has been different in the few days since Loki's almost drowning. Perhaps the sight of Loki's blue lips, his unmoving chest, had scared her a little. As it had with all of them. She is less harsh with her words and more concerned about those around her.

Loki heads for the empty chair, stumbling slightly as he misses a step – catching himself before he could truly fall, arm braced on the chair.

"Are you alright brother?"

"Yes, of course. My apologies, I must have misjudged the step." He lets out a huff of laughter and brushes off any further concern, listening intently as the conversation picks up around him.

* * *

That first slip on the stairs didn't worry Thor, but the fifth or sixth time? Something was definitely going on. Loki didn't fall down the stairs, he wasn't clumsy.

After a week of watching Loki stumble over his words, drop whatever he was carrying and slipping on the stairs with alarming frequency Thor decides that the only course of action is to go to their mother. Loki simply continues on as usual, as if nothing is wrong and any attempts at asking after his health are met with short answers and an irritated god.

Thor finds his mother in one of her favourite gardens – one he and Loki frequented as children.

"Mother."

She turns quickly. "Thor, come in." She smiles briefly at him and pats the empty space on the stone bench beside her.

Taking a seat next to her, Thor prepares himself for this conversation – he needs to be calm so as not alarm her. But of course, as always, she sees right through him.

Smiling at him, she brings a hand up to try and untangle his wild hair. "What is wrong my little warrior?"

"Loki."

"Oh Thor. I know I was angry with you and I said some very harsh things, but I cannot place all of the blame on your shoulders. I am sorry my love."

"Thank you Mother, but that is not what is worrying me."

Frigga frowns at him. "Then what is it?"

Thor takes a deep breath and tells her of all he has seen in the last week. He expected shock or for her to be angry that he had kept this from her but she merely shakes her head.

"Thor, he suffered a head injury. He just needs time to adjust. He is still suffering from headaches but Eir assures me that he will be fine."

"She checked that there were no lasting effects?" Thor pressed.

"She was more concerned with the fact that he could barely breathe. But yes, she checked the wound on his head and deemed him fine. He has tonics for the headaches, they make him drowsy."

"How can he be drowsy? He sleeps until _noon._"

She sighs and rubs her forehead in frustration. "He needs the sleep to build up his energy. I have indeed witnessed what you speak of, but it will pass, I am sure of it. He may be slighter than the rest of you but he is strong in his own right and you would do well to remember that."

"He hasn't used any magic in a week."

Frigga furrows her brow at him and shakes her head once more. "He does not yet have the strength. Please Thor, just leave him be."

It is clear from her tone that the conversation is over so Thor leaves her, deciding to ignore her warnings and seek out Loki and continue to keep a watchful eye on him.

* * *

Stepping into the library, Thor is reminded of the last time he was in here searching for Loki – attempting to drag him on that ill-fated trip. It seemed so long ago that he chased Loki through the many aisles.

Loki is even seated at the same table; however the books he has piled around him are different.

Thor's presence is not even acknowledged until he is almost beside his brother, Loki jumping slightly when he sees him.

"Hello brother." Thor greets with a hand on Loki's shoulder. "How are you feeling?"

Rolling his eyes Loki snaps the book shut. "As I have told you all week, I am just fine." He flexes the fingers of his right hand as if it is cramped but Thor cannot see that Loki has been taking any notes.

"And the headaches?"

"Fine Thor, stop asking." Loki snaps at him, massaging his hand with the other.

He doesn't mean to, but all his worry and frustration of the last week spills over and he cannot help pointing out Loki's actions of late. "If you are so fine then what about your clumsiness, your trips on the stairs?"

Loki's hands pause and he looks at Thor, genuine confusion written all over his face. "What trips?"

"You've almost fallen down the stairs at least five times this week!"

"I don't know what you're talking about." Loki returns his attention to his hand, digging his fingers into his palm vigorously.

Thor shakes his head and is about to give up when he sees the title of Loki's book. He runs his fingers over the embossed cover and realises that he has seen it before. "Brother, you read this yesterday."

"What? Of course not."

"You did! I saw you with it."

"I would remember."

He appears distracted and Thor can see that both his hands are shaking.

Thor covers the title of the book with one hand. "Loki… what book were you reading?"

There is a pause as Loki stares at his book, his eyes distant. "I…"

"You are not sure?"

"No…"

Thor takes his hand from the book cover and places it on Loki's brow, frowning at the light sheen of sweat that he finds there. "I think you should return to your chambers. Despite what you say you are not well."

"I… No I am fine." Loki stands, bracing himself against the table before his expression goes blank.

"Loki?"

Thor barely has time to react as Loki drops to floor and begins convulsing violently, his body locking up and arching off the floor. Shouting for help, Thor falls to his knees beside his brother, placing a hand behind his head and winces as Loki tosses his head back, pinning Thor's hand against the stone floor.

It is all over within a minute or two and Loki relaxes, head lolling to the side and his eyes fluttering briefly before he slips into unconsciousness.

_Let me know how you like it! I'll see you all next week. _


	5. Chapter 5

_Oh I am so so sorry for the lateness. I have no excuse, I just had issues with this chapter. This one is a little bigger to make up for it. _

_I just wanted you all to know that I read each and every comment that you leave and it really makes my day._

_Special shout-out to GoodForBad. Thank you so much for your comments! And of course to Mimbillia as always. _

Loki awakens to bright sunlight streaming in through the window. He closes his eyes again with a groan, hand flailing as he tries to grab one of the many pillows behind his head to pull over his face.

The light rarely bothers him in the mornings, his thick drapes keeping his chambers dark. He must have forgotten to close them before bed. He really should get up and close them, he is still so tired, but everything aches. Even though he cannot remember anything, he must have had a bit too much to drink the previous night. He always ensures that his drapes are drawn.

Fingers stroke his cheek and he tenses until he hears the voice of his mother soothing him.

Not an after-effect of drinking then. She would not be here were that the case – she stayed away when either Loki or his brother were ill from drink. She did not approve.

Loki tries to think, to remember what has happened but the last few days are hazy and his head is pounding.

"Mama…" he moans and attempts to sit up but hands are pressing him back down, more hands than his mother has. Why is someone else is in his chambers? "What…?" he pushes at the hands – he just wants to sleep, why won't they let him be?

"Shh Loki, let Eir do her work."

"You may want to help him drink my Lady; we don't want him to cough it back up."

An arm slides under his shoulders and raises him slightly as the rim of a cup is pressed against his lips, his mother gently coaxing him to drink. Liquid fills his mouth and he manages to swallow most of it, what escapes streaming down his chin and neck. It is surprisingly sweet tasting and he doubts that Eir made it herself. A wonderful healer she may be, but medicines and tonics leave a horrid taste behind.

He is laid back against the pillows, his mother's praise in his ears as he drifts back to sleep.

* * *

The second time Loki wakes, he feels clearer and the ache has dimmed. Prying his eyes open he looks around the unfamiliar room.

The room is white, quite unlike many of the rooms in Asgard. Thin white curtains over an open window drift with a gentle breeze. There is a small table beside his bed, a tray laden with a bowl of various berries and a jug of what he hopes is water. There are vases placed around the room, filled with some of his mother's favourite flowers. Loki sits up against his pillows and smiles when he sees the book from his own bedside table has been placed beside the berries, the piece of ribbon holding his place exactly where he left it.

The door opens and one of the apprentices walks in smiling before crossing over to the bed and tucking the blankets around Loki's waist.

"It's good to see you finally up! Wait one moment; I'll fetch your mother. You are under strict orders not to leave that bed." Her tone is strict and he does not dare disobey her.

Frigga glides into the room moments later, immediately wrapping her arms around him before leaning back and framing his face with her hands. She looks worried and Loki's heart fills with dread.

"What happened?" he whispers.

"What do you remember?"

Loki frowns. He tries to think back but his thoughts are jumbled and he finds it hard to focus. "I'm… not sure. It's all quite hazy."

Frigga sighs and glances back at the apprentice who curtsies and ducks out of the room.

"Mother, what is going on?"

"The headaches you suffered, they were a symptom of something much worse that was unfortunately overlooked." She pauses, unsure of how to continue and Loki really starts to worry. "When you were first injured, from the fall, you did some damage to your head that we did not see at first. Adding that to the time you were without air…"

For all his patience, there is only so much he can take. "Mother, _please_."

"You've been stumbling, having problems with your memory and earlier you suffered convulsions."

Loki's eyes widen in shock. That's never happened before. "What?" he breathes.

Frigga places a calming hand on his forearm. "Do not fret Loki. Eir is working on a new mixture to counter the side-effects you've been having."

"And it will cure me?"

"Not straight away, but yes. She is hopeful that you will make a full recovery."

Loki is flooded with relief as he leans back against the pillows. The convulsions he could live with but to lose his memory, even the slightest bit, was a terrifying thought. His mind was his greatest weapon and the loss would destroy him.

"However," his mother's voice turns firm. "It will take time. You will not be at your full strength and must take it easy for a while. The remedy has already done some good but you are not completely healed. Please Loki, take it slow. Do not overload your mind; do not push yourself beyond your limits. And please, _please_, do not ever scare me like that again."

She leans forward again and embraces him. Loki buries his face in her neck, inhaling the comforting scent from his childhood that never failed to make him feel safe.

"I am sorry mother. I will heed your words."

Frigga's breath hitches slightly and Loki pulls back in alarm. Her eyes are filled with unshed tears that she is desperately trying to hold back. She gives him a watery smile and returns her hands to his face, stroking his cheeks with her thumbs.

"I am so sorry my darling boy."

"Whatever for?"

"I should not have encouraged you to go. You would not have been so hurt and I would not have almost lost you."

Loki shakes his head, pulling her warm hands into his own. "Mother, no. you were right to convince me to go, you were only doing what you thought was best."

She leans in and kisses his brow. "I will let you rest. Stay in bed and try to sleep."

"But I've already slept so much." Frigga raises an eyebrow at him when his gaze slides to the book beside him.

"Fine," she caves. "But no more than an hour. I will know." She points a stern finger at him and rises from the bed.

Frigga pauses at the doorway with a fond smile as Loki immediately reaches for his book and settles down to read.

* * *

Loki spends the next few weeks doing exactly as his mother instructed – he stays in his chambers reading or accompanying his mother on short walks around her gardens. He is still quite week, needing someone to assist him in walking around and he still suffers convulsions, though nowhere near as frequent or intense as they were immediately after his release from the healers ward. Magic eludes him, his reserves almost depleted as his body tries to heal. Loki suspects that Eir's tonics are also hindering his magic.

Frigga cannot be by his side at all times and so she enlists one of her personal guards, Erlend, to pull Loki from his chambers and encourage him to walk around a little each day. Loki knows that she worries too much but he doesn't like the stares he receives or the whispering behind his back, mocking that prince of Asgard should need assistance to walk around.

And so it is Erlend who knocks on Loki's chamber doors, links his arms with the prince's and takes him around the palace, giving harsh looks to anyone who dares to doubt the prince.

Loki is surprised to learn to Erlend shares his passion for books (a rare trait found in Asgard) and many of their wanderings end at the great library, spending hours conversing and sharing their knowledge. Loki begins to feel that perhaps they were becoming friends. The idea excites him – the chance to have a friend that wasn't Thor's first or someone who only used him as a stepping stone to Thor. He has friends, but it is always in the back of his mind that if forced to choose between the brothers, the warriors four would always choose the elder.

Loki has rarely seen his brother in the weeks since his first convulsion; only across the feast table or in the palace hallways until Thor notices him and ducks into an alcove in an effort to avoid him – but not before Loki catches a glimpse of guilt crossing his brother's face. He wishes Thor wouldn't, he wants to tell his brother that he does not blame him.

But in the back of his mind he disagrees with himself – Thor should be miserable and does not deserve mercy.

Loki shakes his head and runs his eyes over the expansive bookcase that runs the length of his chamber wall.

He has run out of books to read.

He is contemplating another trip to the library when there is a quiet knock on the door and Loki smiles and Erlend slips into his room with short bow and a cheeky grin.

"Good morning, my lord."

"Good morning Erlend."

He comes to a stop next to Loki, both of them gazing over the many tomes in front of them. Loki sighs. "It seems we are in need of a trip to the library."

"Again?"

"Do you have a problem with that?" Loki raises an eyebrow at the guard.

"No, not at all. I just thought that perhaps we could go down to the market today."

Loki tensed. "No."

"You will be fine, I will be with you should you fall ill."

Loki reaches out a hand, distractedly rearranging a few books. "I do not care; I do not want to go."

They stand in an uncomfortable silence, Loki fiddling with his books and Erlend simply waiting. Eventually Loki gives up – the silence is too much.

"There are too many people. They stare."

"You are their prince, of course they stare."

"That's not—" Loki huffs in frustration. "I know why they—"

"There is to be a book cart today, the seller only appears once every few months." Erlend cuts him off.

Damn him.

Erlend smiles widely and offers his arm, waiting as Loki grudgingly links his own arm through the guards and leans against him.

"One can never have too many books my lord."

* * *

The market is busier than usual and Loki goes relatively unnoticed. He relaxes eventually, lost to the sounds of conversation around him; sellers shouting and shoving their wares in his face. One brave soul even grabs at Loki's sleeve, trying to sell him a pig until a stern look from Erlend has the man stepping back sheepishly.

Erlend places his palm on Loki's lower back, easing him forward with a roll of his eyes. "Do not encourage him, my lord."

Loki turns to face him, dislodging Erlend's hand. "And how do you know that I do not want a pig? It was a fair price apparently. Much better than anything Tryggr a few stalls down could offer us."

"If you dawdle any longer we will never reach the book cart."

"I thought the purpose of this excursion was to encourage me to be among the people?"

Erlend simply replaces his hand and guides Loki through the crowd.

Finally, the cart comes into view and Loki grabs Erlend's arm, pulling him along as he makes his way, unsteady on his own feet yet quickly reaching his destination. Laughing, Erlend tries to pull his arm back. "No one will buy all the books in the time it would take you to _walk_ here."

"First no dawdling, now I am too fast?"

"A happy medium would be good."

Loki runs his eyes over the cart – not a single book he's read. He must be in Valhalla.

…How is he going to carry all these?

As if reading his mind, Erlend tugs on Loki's sleeve. "Your mother said you could purchase no more than four."

"Four?!"

"You are supposed to be _taking it easy_." Erlend stresses.

"Reading is hardly a strenuous exercise."

"It is for your mind." Erlend raises an eyebrow at him.

Pouting, Loki turns back to the cart. "Fine. Be patient, this may take a while."

Erlend chuckles at him and turns to lean his back against the cart, watching Loki out of the corner of his eye while he kept the rest of his gaze on the people who pass them, at one stage even sticking his tongue out at a small boy who was clutching a this mother's apron.

Loki is immersed in one of the books, drinking in the words with wide eyes when someone knocks into him, causing the book to drop from his hands.

He turns to face the idiot, intent on telling him to watch where he was going when the villager bows low. "Oh my prince, forgive me – I did not realise it was you."

Erlend places himself between Loki and the villager, searching Loki's hands for any signs of oncoming convulsions. "Are you alright my lord?"

"Yes, I am well. No damage done." Loki allows Erlend to grab his hand, showing him that it does not shake or cramp.

However, with their attention focused on each other, neither notices the knife that slips out of the villagers sleeve and into his palm. The man strikes forward and in a split second Erlend shoves Loki into the cart, grunting as the knife buries into his chest before being ripped back out as the villager screams that his land belongs to him, no matter what the All-Father decrees.

The screams and shouts of the surrounding crowd alert nearby guards who race in, tackling the struggling man to the ground.

Loki, struck with horror, catches Erlend as he falls. Sinking to his knees, he rests his friends back against his chest. His hands scrabble over the wound, pressing down as the blood spills over his fingers and tears well in his eyes.

"I told you I didn't want to come to the market, I _told_ you," Loki chokes.

"I'm sorry," Erlend gasps. "I couldn't leave you inside. Fresh…air."

"It's alright; I'll get you back to the palace. Eir fixed me, she can fix you."

"It was an honour to serve you my prince."

"Stop, you'll be fine." Loki looks to the other guards, but they still struggle to hold the villager. The book vendor is hiding behind his cart, his fearful eyes on Loki. Loki reaches out to him with bloody fingers.

"Help, please you have to help him."

The vendor shakes his head frantically, scrabbling backwards and running into the crowd, not once looking back.

Erlend grabs at Loki's outstretched hand, cradling it against his chest. "Please Loki," he whispers. "Just go. Get back to the palace."

"I will not leave you."

Erlend huffs a laugh and Loki can see flecks of blood on his lips. "Do not let this discourage you, please Loki." He tightens his fingers around Loki's until his breathing slows and his grip loosens. Loki leans back against the cart, burying his face in Erlend's hair to hide his tears.

It is only once the villager is finally restrained that the other guards finally notice their fallen comrade. Leaving two guards to keep a hold of the man, the others move over to try and pry Erlend from Loki's grip, giving him a strange look when he refuses to relinquish his friend.

"I said I would stay with him."

"He is no longer with us my lord. He walks with our ancestors in the great halls of Valhalla."

"I said I would stay with him."

They share a look between them and wait. Some murmuring a lament for their fallen friend, others look away.

Finally the Queen arrives, crouching down next to her son and running her fingers through his hair. "Come my darling, there is nothing more that you can do for him."

Loki nods, gently placing his friend on the ground. He pulls Erlend's sword from his belt and arranges it on his chest, cradled by Erlend's hands. Loki takes his mother's outstretched hand, letting her lead him back to the safety of the palace.

"Where's Thor?"

_Please let me know what you think! And if you have any questions, ask away. Hopefully it won't be too much longer before the next chapter is up. See you then! _


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